Late Night Thoughts of the Extremely Exhausted

Maybe God has taken them away from me so that I can have something better.

I can't imagine anything better than the two of them.

They were so loving and so kind.

They cared so much about me.

How could someone else ever care about me like that?

But God has put me here for a reason.

This has been so hard.

I think about them every day.

I pray for them every day.

Its so hard to forget someone you were so close to.

Little things remind me of the fun times I had with them.

Life is changing so quickly.

I am expected to make decisions for myself.

I'm scared to make a wrong decision.

I want to make good decisions, but in my fear I am making no decisions

I must continue to ask God for the strength to overcome my fear.

After all, He is bigger than all.

God, help me overcome my fears. Help me to lean on You for all I need. Allow me to use Your strength to be who You want me to be.

My theme song lately has become the song, "Best I Can" by Disciple. The second verse and chorus go like this: "Been thinkin about, its hard to see what You see in me. Could You lay it out for me? Been thinking about, this isn't the way that I thought it would be. When I can barely hold on, You promise You won't let me go. And I want You to know. That I don't live a perfect life, but God knows I trying the best I can. And I have wasted so much time pretending I'm not lying about who I am. And now I'm living the best I can. I'm breaking down and now I've found a reason to make it, this time around." This is a prayer of mine to God. I tell Him: "Some days I don't get what you see in me, but You can lay it out for me. I don't life a perfect life, but You know I am living the best I can.

This is really jumbled and unorganized but remember the title.

Gripped by His Grace