Here's an Update

Well, most of you don't know this, but here it is: I am seriously contemplating transferring schools. I've been struggling very much where I am, so I have applied to transfer to Colorado Christian University. I'm hoping to be a freshman in the fall of 2009. The plan is to take next semester off and work possibly 2 jobs and fill out grant and scholarship applications. So please be praying that I am doing all this according to God's will. I feel a peace about this though. I mean, I am very nervous, but this will be like my first time stepping out on my own. So I think I'll be nervous for a while, but it will subside.
Until next time,
Psalm 57:1-2

God is so perfect

The more and more I try to handle life, the more and more it spins utterly out of control. So here it is: I'm done trying to control my own life. It only causes stress and undue strife. It's not going to be easy to stop and to fully rely on God, but with His help, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!. Tonight I start a new life. This life is going to do its best to be yielded to what God wants not what she wants. Here I go. I'm jumping into his arms wide open.
Until Next time,
Psalm 16:8

Some days. . .

Some days I wonder. I wonder about me. I wonder about those I love. I wonder about life. I wonder what am I really doing here. Lately these days I no longer want to be in school. I want to open my own coffee shop/candle-lotion business. . . Why you ask? I don't know really. . . I just want something new. I know God has put me at this place in my life for a very specific reason. I just can not see it right now. So I know I must continue to do my best to be all there where I am. Some days I just don't know anymore. . . It's those days I must look to God the most.
Here are some random updates from my life:

• I am now working with 2 youth groups a jr and a sr high group.
• Last Monday night at junior high youth group, the Youth pastor, Josh, shared the Gospel with the kids, and we had 2 kids accept Christ. I have made a connection with a girl named Natalie. It's so good to be available to her. She and I have similar stories so it's so easy to talk to each other.
• High school is going great as well
• I love my girls at school. We have been having so much fun together. I wouldn't trade some of the moments we've had for the world.

Until Next time,
James 1:2-5

Life as I know it. . . right now

Well, I started my 3rd week of school yesterday. God has been really doing something. As the school year started, I barely had enough money to get my foot in the door here at FSB. I actually struggled two days before having to come back as to whether I should come back. But something told me to come back. I had enough money to get me in the door and get class notes, nothing more. Last week, I was getting worried about when I was going to be able to purchase my books so I could start my numerous reading assignments. So Tuesday at my prayer group and my section devotions, I mentioned that I was having trouble with my finances and still didn't have my books. Both groups prayed for my situation. Thursday morning, I had a package slip in my box. I was pretty darn stoked to have a package. Well I went to the office to claim it and they said, you don't have a package, you have books. My first thought was where did I leave my books at, that they turned them in. Then they pulled the books over the counter and I looked at them and they were the books I needed for my classes. God works in mysterious ways. . . 

Now on to the more serious part of this blog. . . I can't help it, but lately I have felt in a rut. I'm trying to get on and get down to it for school, but at the same time, memories of the past 2 1/2 months fill my mind. Summer was absolutely awesome. So many good things in my life came out of the summer, but I know I can not live my life in the past. So how do I move on without forgetting? My only answer is this: I just have to let go and let God take care of my mind, body, and soul. I'm also having trouble connecting with people here at school. It seems like everyone has a mask painted on so no one else sees how they truly are, myself included. I miss being able to go to someone and say, "I'm having trouble, would you pray for me?", and them not thinking I was a total nut. I miss having the close friendships. I don't know. . . Maybe it's just me. Maybe I've put my walls that so many people seemed to bypass easily this summer back up.  But I can sum it all up in 3 words: SUCH IS LIFE. I just need to focus on the here and now and not the then and there. 

Here are just some random updates:

• My mom is doing really well. She started her medicine over a week ago. She's only gotten mildly sick. PTL
• My tailbone is acting up again with all the sitting in classes, chapel, church and cars. So pray that it'll get better.
• My sister and beautiful little niece, Nyla are moving to Iowa in like a week and a half. I'm sad that I'm losing a sister and  a niece.
• I've started working with both the jr. and sr. high youth groups at the church I am attending. The kick-offs went great. I'm so glad and happy to be back with the kids. 

Until next time,

Ephesians 2:10

My Id-Ra-Ha-Je Summer

Well, I've been putting off writing this blog for a few weeks now for the simple fact that I'm not sure how to put in to words the absolute awesomeness of this summer. So I'll just make some bulleted points that highlighted my summer in no particular order of importance. Here it goes!

• Meeting the Narrow Way Adventure staff. Getting to know Dominique, Annie, Abi, Christine, Madison, Naomi, Summer and the boys was absolutely amazing. I had so much fun with them. They became a great support to me, especially in the hard weeks.
• Meeting Kym, Dejah, and My People (Mandy). Kym was always an amazing listening ear. She offered great advice and gave amazing hugs. Dejah, she was just like me. We have so much in common. We spent the majority of our summers at Mo Ville. She rocked my socks off with just how truly beautiful she is. My People. Mandy is an awesome girl. She and I had a unique first meeting that pretty much guaranteed that we would be friends for the summer. She was always there to encourage me and give me a famous Mandy hug.
• I got stuck in a trash can playing counselor hunt. You want to know details? Ask me another time.
• I counseled 2 full weeks and 2 half weeks. All my girls were amazing. 25 in all. I counseled weeks 3,7, and 9.
• Week 7 was the hardest week for me. I was only sleeping 3 hours a night. My mom, who had been sick since week 2 had a 3 1/2 hour MRI that monday to find out what was making her sick. That Wednesday, I had many homesick campers, and one of them ended up going home. As she was going home, I got a call from my mom and I quickly answered and told her I'd have to call her back. So after I got my camper sent home I called my mom. She then told me news that pretty much rocked my world.
• July 23, 2008 my mom was diagnosed with MS or Multiple Sclerosis. Already being emotionally and physically spent, I pretty much had a mental break down. So I talked to Jordan and he gave me the night off. Well at this point I had no idea what to do or where to go. So, I pick up my phone and called Summer. The conversation went something like this: me:"Summer, where are you?", Summer:"I'm just up at the Summitt House.", me:"I'm headed your way. I'll be there in a minute." Summer: "Umm. . . okay. Is everything alright?" Me: "No it's not." Well I took the back way up to Tepee camp from Mo Ville to get to the main road to head up to the Summitt house. As I got to the top of the hill from the path, there was someone there. At the top, Summer stood there waiting for me. She opened her arms to hug me and I just collapsed in tears again. She and I went up to the Summitt House, and I spent the evening with people who genuinely cared for me. Summer and I had a very deep talk that night. She told me things that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was wonderful to be able to have somewhere to go when I didn't know where to go. Two days later, I was still processing. By Friday night, I was in the worst mood ever. Everything was so wrong in my eyes. I felt so hateful. I was texting Dominique about it and asked if she could come talk to me. Later that evening she came and talked to me for over an hour. Just knowing that someone who had been in a similar situation was willing to listen and understood was a great feeling.
• I severely bruised my tailbone. It was painful. I sat in a floatie for 3 weeks before I got sick of it and threw it away. It got many laughs.
• I did many adventure activities, some challenge by choice, some challenge by force. I did the power pole, big zip, low rappell and the tower. I almost did high rappell, but I chickened out.
• God taught me so many things this summer. 1)I am nothing on my own. I have nothing good to offer anyone with what Christ has given me. 2)I need people in my life. I can't do much on my own. I need people to pray for me and I need to let people into my life. Even if I am scared of getting burned. 3)I am loved. Other people love me and care deeply for me.

That was some highlights from my summer. There is so much more, so if you want to know, just ask me. Last but not least, I want to close this blog with this: I've been back at school now a week, and I clean bathrooms for work scholarship. I was cleaning the other day and heard this song by Jeremy Camp called Beyond Measure. I'll leave you with the chorus. Just remember how much we have.

"I know that I've been given more than beyond measure. I come alive when, I see beyond my fears. I know that I've been given more than earthly treasure. I come alive when, I've broken down and given You control"

Until next time,

1 John 4:18

Ready or not, here it comes

So, tomorrow I head back to La Grange to start my junior year. To be completely honest, I'm not quite ready. I still haven't completely debriefed from the summer. I still have not actually come to grips with the fact that I am no longer at camp and that I am in the "real world". Tomorrow I head back to another type of bubble, Bible school. I'm really excited to get back with my Bible school pals, but I still completely miss all my camp people. I am also on the verge of beginning to support myself. It's a scary concept having to step out on my own, but at the same time, my mom can't support me for the rest of my life. So as tomorrow comes, I step out for the first time. God will provide. I must let go and completely trust that He knows my way, and I don't need to know all the details. Well that's all for now. Stay tuned for a post about my summer.
Until then,
2 Corinthians 1:4-5

Let the journey begin

So, as the summer is rapping up, I've been thinking, there has got to be an easier way to keep up with people and let them know how things in life are going. So I decided to start blogging. As some of you know, this past July, my mom was diagnosed with MS or Multiple Sclerosis. It will be easier to keep ya'll informed on her through this as well. I hope all of you are doing well in whatever it is you are up to these days. Keep me posted.
Until then,
2 Corinthians 12:7-10