Coming home after a trip is always like a breath of fresh air. No more car, no more stiff muscles. The ability to move around when I want to. I loved this last road trip. The guys I was with were great. The trip itself was wonderful. But in the back of my mind, it was racing with thoughts:
"How can I make a difference?"
"I want to be more godly. How do I become more godly?"
"I'm so wretched. How could God ever want to use such a wicked person?"
"Everyone thinks I am such a "good" person, but they don't see the evil lurking inside me."
I've been reading in the Psalms. God tells His people what to do. Its been great to see what God expects of me. But in the other side of the same coin, Its hard to see because I see just how far I fall short. This makes me so grateful for the cross. God sees me through the blood of Jesus Christ. He sees past my imperfections and see the nail scarred hands of Jesus.
I'm in the process of reading a book called Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire. Its a book about the Brooklyn Tabernacle church and its revival centered around prayer. Most people see me as someone who prays. And I do pray, but do my prayers reflect what I believe? More importantly, do I believe that the God I am praying can and will answer my prayers? That is big thing. I need to be believing that.
All I have to do is ask. God tell me ask and I will provide. God says He will provide for those whose hope is in Him. Is my hope in Him? I say it is. Well, its time to put my faith into action.
God,
I'm not good enough. I have nothing in me that is good. Help me to have a greater faith in You. Help me to live a life that is separate from evil and wickedness. Help me to better walk the walk I talk. Give me faith to pray to you every day! Not only pray, but pray believing that You will answer and provide in the way You see fit. I love you. You are my only hope. Help me to live every day to serve you more.
Love,
Your princess,
jessi
